


Que Sera Sera

by sarahxxxlovey



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Canon Compliant, Child Loss, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Married Couple, Married Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley, Married Life, Minor Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley, Miscarriage, One Shot, Post-Canon, The Burrow (Harry Potter)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-20
Updated: 2017-12-20
Packaged: 2019-02-17 07:55:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13072518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sarahxxxlovey/pseuds/sarahxxxlovey
Summary: "She stood over the edge of the counter, crying as she held herself up with her hands. He came behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling his head down to rest on her shaking shoulder." Ron/Hermione OneShot after they suffer from a miscarriage.





	Que Sera Sera

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: depictions (not graphic) of miscarriage

She stood over the edge of the counter, crying as she held herself up with her hands.

He came behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling his head down to rest on her shaking shoulder. He had noticed instantly when she left the table in the garden where his family sat celebrating Harry’s birthday.

“Hermione,” he said softly. He looked up suddenly as a flash of red went by the window in the garden outside. She heard the giggles of children and looked up to see their thirteen-month-old daughter toddling around after Teddy and Victoire, laughing happily as she chased them unsteadily. She placed her hands over his as her head sagged in defeat, sobbing in earnest now.

It had been two months since she had miscarried. Two long months since he’d received an urgent Patronus message that said something was wrong with Hermione during his lunch break. Eight and a half weeks since they had sat in that hospital bed as the doctor told them the news that they had lost the baby after eleven weeks of growth in Hermione’s body. Hermione had cried for a couple days and once it felt like she was okay, he had cried for a couple days. 

They’d gotten pregnant with Rose after nearly three years of marriage and two years of trying to have a baby. They had always talked about having two kids, a consequence of her upbringing as an only child and his as one of a bunch. He had been so thrilled to find out they were having a little girl, picturing a bouncing baby Hermione in his head, her big bushy hair and bright brown eyes. Hermione was excited too, of course, but had been hoping for a boy.

The grief was so great. The sensational pain rushed back to Ron like a bludger. It brought up years of old trauma, the feelings of loss and emptiness from the years after his brother’s death and inadequacy at not having the family that he wanted, something he knew to be unhealthy and irrational but the depths of his sadness pushed him there. It brought back how they had attended funeral after funeral, how the days of blackness and despair blurred together into one horrific month. Somehow, having Rose made it almost worse sometimes. The pregnancy had filled Ron's head with images of his baby girl as a big sister and now that was stolen from him. 

He had already lost a child at his age. He was only 26. The child that he’d lost wouldn’t have a funeral. They didn’t even know if it had been a boy or a girl.

Ron hadn’t felt pain like that in years. What had turned to a dull, muted ache for Fred made him forget the shooting, burning pain of a fresh loss. The pain that thudded in his chest for days, pulling him out of sleep and making it difficult to concentrate at work. Not only was he grieving for himself, but he was grieving for Hermione, who was taking the loss as a physical reminder of her personal shortcomings. Even weeks later, it was shaking their little family, causing Hermione to abandon birthday festivities to cry over him mum’s farm sink.

He turned her around and pulled him into her chest, hugging her as tightly as he could manage without hurting her. She felt so small in his arms; his wife of five years was falling apart beneath him. He thought back to their wedding day, a time when they had no idea what was coming to them in the following years. He wanted to hug the pain away, wishing that he could take it away from her.

“I shouldn’t have come today,” she admitted, her voice thick with tears.

“We can go home if you want? Leave Rosie with Gin and Harry?”

“No, they have Teddy tonight and she hasn’t been feeling well,” she said, resting her cheek against his heartbeat, her voice growing stronger. “I’ll be okay.”

“Are you sure? I’m sure Mum would take her if you wanted some time alone.”

“No, I want her at home with us,” she said, more strongly this time. The thought of his wife and daughter asleep on the sofa warmed his heart.

“Okay, love,” he said, kissing the top of her head and squeezing her again. He just wanted to give her what she needed. “Are you sure you’re going to be okay?”

“I feel like a failure,” she sobbed again, the pain in her voice cutting through him and making him feel helpless. He hadn’t meant to upset her again and internally cursed himself for his lack of tact. “It took us so long with Rose and we were so excited for her to have a sibling. I thought this was it and I failed.”

“Mione,” he sighed, “You didn’t fail. This isn’t your fault.”

“Does everyone think I’m not good enough for you?” she sobbed, pulling him closer, her forehead pressed against his chest as she shook, “No one else has had any trouble conceiving.”

“Hey,” Ron said soothingly, rubbing her back in a way that he hoped was comforting, “You don’t know that. We didn’t tell everyone about us and it’s possible that people didn’t tell us about them.”

“I suppose that’s true,” she said evenly and he had to stifle a chuckle at her response to a logical argument. His Hermione was still the same after all these years.

“Look at me, honey,” he said, lifting her chin up so their eyes would meet. “You are not a failure. You’re the best mum ever. And if we have another? Great. If we grow our family in other ways? Great then, too. You’re mine and I wouldn’t want a family with anyone else.”

She smiled wetly at him and kissed him. Her lips were salty and he sighed into her, digging his fingers into the curls at the base of her neck.

“When did you get to be so mature, you big oaf?” she laughed, wiping her face quickly, turning to make sure that no one had seen them snogging in the kitchen.

“The teaspoon has grown to a tablespoon, love,” he joked as he kissed her again. “Do you want to wait to go outside a little bit?”

“I could use a spot of tea honestly,” she admitted sheepishly.

“Why don’t you sit?” he said, hoping that she would let him do it, wanting to do something with his hands, “I got it.”

She followed his orders and sat at the worn wood table, her eyes following him back and forth as he moved from the stove to the shelves that held the tea and back again, grabbing mugs and tea and sugar. He could feel her eyes on him, turning over his shoulder to wink at her. She blushed and he preened, loving her flushed pink cheeks.

The tea was ready in a few moments and he sat down across the table from her, placing a steaming mug in her spot and stretching his legs out in front of him, his long legs reaching under her chair.

“It’s obnoxious that you do that, you know,” she laughed, kicking his feet slightly underneath her, “Just because you’re longer doesn’t mean you can steal my space.”

“I like stealing your space,” he shrugged, his eyes mischievous.

“Funny enough, I noticed,” she laughed, her eyes growing sad again as she stared down into her tea. He tried anxiously to bring the laughter back to her eyes.

“We’re going to be okay, Hermione,” he said, reaching for her hand across the table. She smiled sadly and took a sip.

“I feel so much older than I am,” she sighed, “I thought things would be easier once we became adults but they haven’t really, have they?”

He didn’t answer.

“I mean, I’m going to be 27 in basically a month,” she said, “And we’ve been married for five years and have a baby and five nieces and nephews and Ginny is about to pop any day now which basically makes six. And I’m sure in the next three years we’ll have like... five more. It makes me feel so old.”

“We’re 26…” he said slowly.

“And?” she prompted. “We’ve been through a lot.”

“I’m not saying we haven’t,” he backtracked, “but I think I’ve felt mostly the same for the last few years. Since you finished Hogwarts really, it’s all been pretty much the same. All the big adult things seemed like they were already part of me. The wedding, Victoire being born and becoming an uncle, Rose… I just feel like this is how life was supposed to be, you know?”

Hermione was looking at him peculiarly. Ron was having a hard time deciphering if she was sad or not.

“Do you feel like you’re missing out because we aren’t having another kid?” she asked, her voice thoughtful but not sad.

“No,” he said, without thinking, “I know we’ll have another. If we adopt or whatever, then so be it. But we’ll have another when it’s time. I’m not so worried on the specifics.”

She couldn’t help but smile.

“This is one of my favorite things about you, Ron,” she said, looking at their grasped hands, “You’re so positive. You’re always telling me that things will be okay and I can always trust that they will be because I know you’ll be by my side.”

Ron grinned and leaned over slightly to kiss her knuckles.

“I’m not going anywhere, Hermione,” he said against her skin, “My best friend.”

“What about Harry?” she teased.

“He’s not nearly as good at snogging,” he whispered back, leaning in closer to her to press his lips against hers. She gave in instantly, smiling against his lips.

“We used to get in so much trouble for kissing in the kitchen,” she laughed, remembering the Christmas break after they’d spent the first half of her last Hogwarts year apart. She thinks everyone caught them at some point or other.

“We could get in some real trouble if you wanted,” he said as he waggled his eyebrows, “I heard the bedroom at the top of the stairs is empty.”

“I think we should probably go outside,” she said with regret, part of her truly wishing that they could sneak up to the bedroom where she’d lost her virginity, “I’m sure people will already be thinking the worst.”

“Hey,” Ron reminded her, clearing their cups away, “We have a baby. It’s not like they don’t know that we shag.”

“It’s one thing to know that we do but a completely different matter entirety to expect that we snug off in the middle of a birthday party for our best friend to do so,” she pointed out, holding the door open for him.

“I love you, Hermione Granger-Weasley,” he said, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. “I’m very happy with my choice to marry you.”

“Oh yes?” she laughed, “Me too. Very good decision on our parts.”

He kissed her again and they walked out into the garden to see their family.

**Author's Note:**

> So now you know, Ron and Hermione are my OTP. Sorry Bughead, you're great and all, but Ron/Hermione is my true love on the real!


End file.
